Undecided Plan

These last few days I have been adding in more and more liquids for my girl to sip out of a sippy...not the breast. She has always liked soy milk, teas and water, so this has been easy. I've been giving us both extra vit. C and Echinacea in these teas. Right now we both are at the end of a cold/flu so it's been a good reminder to add more fluids during the day anyway.

My thinking has been that the more she drinks, the less she will come to me and ask to nurse. This has not been the way it's been going. Maybe in the day a but, not at night though. I'm not trying very hard to say no, I just wait until she's asked a few times before nursing. At bedtime I will nurse a bit before and then give her chamomile tea after story etc. Middle-of-the-night-times have been going about the same though-about 2-4x during the night and early morning. My pain has been subtle, but still there.

I realized after the last post I made, that it might be extreme for a few reasons. Extreme to hold off weening if in serious pain. Extreme for wanting to ween when some days are tolerable still. Extreme for not trusting that she'll be healthy and strong even if we stopped this week. Extreme to be upset and emotion about this. Really not decided...Can you tell?

One thing I do know, is that when she has wandered over to me in the last few days saying "Mama, Mama" and I have pretended that I don't know just what it is that she wants...it's been heart breaking. She finds her way to my lap, hangs her head down low and nuzzles in and starts to ask even sweeter in a soft little way. "Mama? Mama?" And I know that we aren't finished with this yet.